The United States of Equality (Mickey Z.)

  Mickey Z. -- World News Trust

  Jan. 25, 2007 -- Two black millionaires... I mean, two black men will be coaching in the Super Bowl this year. "I feel very blessed that I'll be able to tell folks years from now that I lived to see Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith coach in the Super Bowl," writes Tony McClean, a reporter for the Black Athlete Sports Network. "I think of all the struggles that have and still will be fought by African-Americans over the years and I will tell them that yes, YES, this is an important moment. It will be a reminder for us of where we've come and just how far we still want to and must go. All I ask of you is that you appreciate the moment and reflect on those who paved the way for us to enjoy this moment for what it is."

  Rumor has it that the NAACP has disbanded.

  Lest anyone think absolute equality is limited to the realm of professional sports, have you taken a gander at the latest Academy Award nominations? Will Smith, Forest Whitaker, Penelope Cruz, Djimon Hounsou, Eddie Murphy, Adriana Barraza, and few other non-whites are in the running for Oscars.

  This just in: Al Sharpton has retired to Florida (but will not remain silent in the face of any Bingo corruption).

  If you ask me, all this egalitarianism has arrived not a minute too soon; that whole racism thing was getting awfully annoying. Look what it did to Michael Richards. But things are different today. First, Clarence Thomas colorized the Supreme Court and now we have Barack Obama running for president. President George W. Bush's cabinet has included Colin Powell, Alberto Gonzalez, and Condi Rice. (Condi, of course, is both black and a woman. If we ever find out she's disabled or gay, it'd be a civil rights hat trick.) C'mon, even the judge's panel on American Idol is two-thirds black.

  Jesse Jackson is applying for Social Security.

  As for the women of these United States of Equality, I'd say Hillary's pretty much got it all covered... but let's not forget Katie Couric doing the whole news thing, Martha Stewart back and better than ever, and, of course, Nancy Pelosi is in the House (literally). Toss in Oprah, Madonna, J-Lo, Beyonce, and Rosie, and you'd have to admit feminism's work is just about done.

  Ladies and Gentlemen, Gloria Steinem has left the building.

  However, all this success is not without a dark side. It's left us with this conundrum: What's a self-respecting liberal now supposed to do with all her/his spare time?

  Mickey Z. can be found on the Web at http://www.mickeyz.net.