Before we get to 2076, first things
first: Hail Obama, our brilliant, articulate, eloquent, half-black
savior and prince.
Okay, so maybe St. Barack is a tad less
progressive than we imagined but you have to admit he’s brilliant
and eloquent and half-black. And c’mon, folks, he’s not even in
office yet. Give the poor guy a chance. Once he’s in, we’ll hold
his feet to the fire and make real progress. We’ll get
permits to hold weekend protests (with none of those nasty anarchists
invited) and we’ll give voice to the voiceless… in our designated
free speech zones, of course. President Obama will hear us, I’m
sure. He’ll prove there is a difference between the two
parties. After all, you can’t tell me you didn’t shed a tear when
you saw all those young people celebrating in the streets. The youth
have spoken! The future has arrived! Bushism is dead!!! Let’s
rejoice!!! Let’s sing along with Ani DiFranco’s amazing new song,
“Yes We Can”!!!
In fact, I’m willing to go out on a
limb right now and boldly predict that by the year 2011, the number
of U.S. combat troops in Iraq will have decreased by at least 10 percent-15 percent.
To those who want more, I ask: We can’t expect Obama to simply
withdraw those brave, heroic, gallant, valiant, superhuman men and
women in one shot, can we? No way, there’s no cut and run for
America. (And remember: we wouldn’t be in this mess if that damn
egotistical Ralph Nader hadn’t ruined everything in 2000. He
shouldn’t be allowed to run. Make it illegal, I say.)
At least Obama is forming a strong
centrist coalition. “A team of rivals,” they say. Some may
nitpick and point out that every single appointee is a
Washington retread who supported the war and could’ve just as
easily been chosen by John McCain had he won, but Obama is clearly in
charge and he’s brilliant. He makes the decisions and he’s so
articulate. He promised hope and change and, being that he’s so
eloquent, I’m positive he will deliver. It would be negative,
bitter, and cynical to think otherwise. In fact, anyone not thrilled
with the historic election of a half-black man should not be allowed
to breathe our precious oxygen. (Ain’t that right, Tim Wise?)
Looking ahead, we’ll have bumps in
the road (like many years of recession, escalation of the war on
Afghanistan and subsequent blowback, reinstitution of the military
draft, drastic cuts in social programs, an ongoing policy of torture
and extra-judicial trials, the use of U.S. troops to quell dissent by
U.S. citizens on U.S. soil, to name but a few) but I’m confident we’ll
have the brilliant, inspirational Obama in office until 2016… followed
by America’s first female president -- Hillary Clinton --until 2024.
Hooray!!!!! What a proud moment for the world’s greatest nation.
Gender equality is ours!!! No more patriarchy!!!
Sure, those mean Republicans may steal
an election or two. They may even stage one of those infamous false
flag operations that a Democrat would never participate in. But we’ll
prevail. We will prevail. Progressive values will never die
and no slimy Republican or more-radical-than-thou nihilist can tell
me different. I have faith. I have hope. I believe. I read The
Nation and Z Magazine. I watch Jon Stewart and Rachel
Maddow. I leave comments at Daily Kos. I’m part of the
solution, pal. If you’re not with me, you’re against me!!! This
is change I can believe in!!! How about you?
As this century progresses, we’re
bound to see the first Hispanic-American president, the first
Asian-American president, the first
indigenous- disabled- transgender- atheist- undocumented- communist
president and who knows what other proud breakthroughs lie ahead for
the land of the free and home of the brave? Maybe we’ll cut
emissions by 2 percent-3 percent, the minimum wage will rise by at least 25 cents,
and being a loyal American consumer will be so much easier when that
national ID card becomes mandatory.
What’s that you say? 10 thousand gallons
of gasoline are burned in the United States every second? We’re losing 200 thousand
acres of rain forest every 24 hours? 2.2 billion pounds
of pesticides are used by Americans each year? 100 plant or
animal species go extinct each day? 81 tons of
mercury are emitted into the atmosphere each year as a result of
electric power generation? Every square mile of ocean hosts 46 thousand
pieces of floating plastic? 13 million tons of toxic chemicals
released across the globe each and every day? 70 thousand new
chemical compounds have been invented and dispersed into our
environment since 1950? There will be no glaciers left in Glacier
National Park by 2030? The Artic region expected to have its first
completely ice-free summer in 2040? Coastal glaciers in Greenland
thinning by three feet per year? Ninety percent of the large fish in the
ocean are already gone? Eightey percent of the world’s forest are already gone?
Every two seconds, a human being starves to death and 29,158 children
under the age of five die from preventable causes every single day?
Slow down, Mr.
Negative. Don’t bum me out with your pessimistic stats and
unconstructive attitude. You’re full of bad news but you never
offer a solution. You have no plan. We
have a plan -- a plan that comes equipped with its own soaring
oratory, a plan named Barack Obama. Besides, it’s always best to
focus on the positive and not dwell in gloom and doom. How else can
we maintain the hope we need to make a difference? How else can we
each become the change we wish to see in the world? How else can we
justify our Obama worship?
Sure, some things are a little messed
up but I deeply sense in my heart of hearts that change will come.
It will come slowly, but it will come!!! By the time we get to
that all-important 2076 election, true radicals will finally be able
to vote their conscious. At long last, we’ll have a president that
the people (well, the few people that are still alive) can support
without compromise. No more lesser evil. No more hold your
nose and vote. Nope, stay tuned for 2076, folks. Democracy, peace,
justice, and solidarity will be ours on America’s 300th
birthday… and it all begins on Jan. 20, 2009, with our very own
brilliant, eloquent, half-black Pope of Hope!!!
I’ll see you in the future…
(inspired by Joe from Maine)
Mickey Z. can be found on the Web at
http://www.mickeyz.net.