Everything you know about self-defense is wrong (part 2) | Mickey Z.

Photo credit: Erika Wittlieb. Pixabay.

Mickey Z. -- World News Trust

Aug. 2, 2016

(Part 1 here)

Alongside commitment is awareness.

We must recognize and accept the realities of what we’re up against and then do the work to stay as safe as possible within the confines of such pervasive danger. 

This is not victim-blaming, e.g. “Why was she in that neighborhood or wearing her headphones?” Predators are predators. It’s not you, your outfit, how much you drank, the way you danced, or the route home you took. The predator is the only one to blame. Always.

Thus, a major part of awareness = understanding more about predators. 

For the record, when I discuss predators in my writing or at my seminars, I refer to them as males (he, him, etc.). This reason for this is frighteningly simple and accurate: The VAST majority of predators are male. To state otherwise is to deny the evidence and potentially put oneself at increased risk.

Since I’m certain that at least one person out there will take offense at this line of thought, I’ll offer some basic statistics from the U.S. Department of Justice (hardly a feminist or “radical” outpost). Here is a brief list of different types of murders following by the percentage of which are committed by males:

• Sex related murders: 94 percent
• Drug related murders: 96 percent
• Workplace murders: 91 percent
• Eldercide: 85 percent
• Argument murders: 86 percent
• Gun homicide: 91 percent
• Child murders (killed by someone other than a parent): 81 percent
• Gang related murders: 98 percent
• Multiple victims: 94 percent

Okay, moving right along… 

Predator-Prey Dynamic
The predator almost always has the advantage of surprise. He knows when and where he will attack and he is not looking for a fair fight. Therefore, we can never, ever be 100 percent ready against such predators. How about 50 percent? That’s doable, but we must really prepare.

This means studying and never underestimating predators. It’s a lot to stomach, but the more you know about predators the quicker you’ll recognize and thus avoid them.

Predators target, stalk, and plan. If this sounds paranoid or extreme to you, I invite you to peruse “advice” books and blogs from so-called “pick-up artists” (PUAs). I’ve read such manifestoes (including the PUA bible, The Game) and discovered how these men dedicate much of their waking hours to developing, testing, and then passing on methods of malicious manipulation to trap their targets.

More to consider:

• Predators test and push boundaries.
• They are counting on you not being aware; they expect you to not be wary of, say, walking or parking near a van.
• They often work in teams.
• They groom victims and can be extremely patient, if them deem it necessary.
• They’ll pretend to be innocent. Even during an actual assault, a predator will assure you: “Do what I say and you won’t get hurt.” This is bullshit. Criminal records are teeming with examples to the contrary. Such a predator is already hurting you and has no intention of stopping. It would just makes things simpler if he could maneuver you into frightened compliance.
• If confronted by a predator, try everything to get away (more about that in part 3) but always, always assume they are armed and that they have armed accomplices nearby.  
• When it comes to contemplating how to survive an encounter with a predator: Expect the worst because that’s probably what you will get.

Remember the pledge: “I will resist and I will survive, by any means necessary.”

Simultaneously, you must learn about yourself. You must study your daily routines and environments. You can practice role reversal via self-stalking: meticulously analyze your own patterns. Try to see yourself the way a predator may see you.

More awareness advice, from the Center for Anti-Violence Education:

• If you are using your cell phone, let the person you are talking to know where you are: This also tells those around you that someone knows your location. Because you will not be able to hear as well, be sure to keep your eyes alert and attentive.
• Be aware of how your clothes, bags, etc. may help you or may hinder you in the case of an attack. Make any changes that can help you stay safe.
• If you think someone is following you, don’t lead them to your home or a secluded place. Go to a place full of people with whom you feel safe or go into a store and let them know you are being followed.
• Be aware of men pressing body parts (including hands) against you on the subway or bus. Speak up: You can warn other women, gain allies and protect yourself by saying something. Remember that you have done nothing wrong.
• See if there is an object in each room of your home, something you can get to if you needed to defend or shield yourself from an attacker -- someone known or a stranger.

Awareness can be ugly
Obviously, it’s not easy to become aware and to accept what you’ll learn. Perhaps this is why so few people do it. But please know this: Whether or not you do the work to commit and expand awareness, predators will be doing the work to seek out what they perceive as easy prey.

Remember the pledge: I will resist and I will survive, by any means necessary.

Third and final part of this series, coming soon: The practical and the tactical.

Mickey Z. is currently writing two books, a memoir called How to Lose Friends & Influence Nobody: My Life as an “Activist,” and a novel entitled stain red. In the meantime, he can be found here.

Everything you know about self-defense is wrong (part 2) by Mickey Z. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at https://worldnewstrust.com/everything-you-know-about-self-defense-is-wrong-part-2-mickey-z.