What Do You Really Want From Others? — Mickey Z.

Occupy Wall Street encampment at Zuccotti Park: September 2011 (Mickey Z.)

Mickey Z. — World News Trust

March 5, 2021

To begin this brief contemplation, I’ll do what we men do so well, state the obvious: There is a thin line between self-examination and self-flagellation. Your internal critic must not be given free rein but… there are times when you’re justified to take the gloves off. For example, think about your intentions and behavior whenever you spend time with another person. 

Hold on, let’s back up and first explore the use of the word “spend” here. That choice betrays an inhuman, capitalist mindset as it assumes time is a commodity. Language itself has been integrated into the Almighty Market™. Hence, life in a consumer culture gets us saying all sorts of silly, counterproductive things like “spend time” and “invest in a relationship" and other stuff like that,

Occupy Wall Street encampment at Zuccotti Park: October 2011 (Mickey Z.)

So, to begin again: I invite you to think about your intentions and behavior whenever you pass time with another person. There’s an excellent chance you want something from them. It could be material, e.g. a loan, borrow their car, get them to write a letter of recommendation, whatever. You might crave something more abstract like validation, (positive or negative) attention, or mutual attraction and all that may entail. No, no, you assure me, I just want to help. Keyword: want. I can easily recall innumerable times when I’ve been miffed that someone turned down my oh-so-generous offer of help or even worse, my undeniable wisdom (cue the shame and self-loathing). Even when helping, I wanted something. 

Occupy Wall Street encampment at Zuccotti Park: October 2011 (Mickey Z.)

With all this clouding our overburdened minds, I’ll share with you one of my most challenging goals: To far more often pass time with people without any overt or covert agenda. Since every meeting (IRL or virtual) has the potential to be our last, why wouldn’t I do everything in my power to savor the experience as just that: an experience? 

No strings attached. A radically honest communing of two souls. Or, as Patti Smith once put it, making our interactions transformational instead of transactional. Toward that end, let’s edit our word choice one more time: I invite you to think about your intentions and behavior whenever you share time with another person.

Mickey Z. can be found here. He is also the founder of Helping Homeless Women - NYC, offering direct relief to women on the streets of New York City. To help him grow this project, CLICK HERE and make a donation right now. And please spread the word!