NYC’s Zombie Crisis — Mickey Z.

Mickey Z. — World News Trust

November xx, 2021

All around the Big Apple, mask-wearing, vaccine-craving, mandate-supporting zombies have been roaming the street for months. But that’s not the reason why the New York (com)Post recently called New York State ground zero for a zombie apocalypse. 

Side trip: Before I continue, please allow me to explain something. When I mock the New York Post, it’s not a “political” thing. It doesn’t mean I support the New York Times. I’m not into the whole bullshit left vs. right deception. My critique of the corporate media is deeper and more holistic. Here’s a refresher on that:

Whether you label them liberal or conservative, most major media outlets are large corporations owned by or aligned with even larger corporations, and like all good little capitalists they share a common goal: to make a profit by selling a product to a given market. What's the market? That's easy: advertisers. The product? Since any advertiser worth his graying ponytail lusts after an affluent audience, the product is obviously an elite clientele with an unencumbered cash flow. Therefore, we shouldn't find it shocking that the image of the world being presented by a corporate-owned press reflects the interests of the select players in this sordid love triangle. 

No news or social media outlet, by definition, can be unbiased. Thus, the burden is always on us to become more discerning as content consumers and critical thinkers. The facts are out there but finding them requires you to develop a neutral filter. Intellectual self-defense and all. On that note, let’s get back to zombies…

Here's what the New York (com)Post was getting at: There are roughly 12.7 million bodies buried in New York State’s 9,730 cemeteries. Most of those bodies, um… reside in New York City. In particular, five million are buried in Queens alone. My home borough. A single cemetery named Calvary has a whopping three million, um… residents. 

Translation #1: WAY more space is allotted to dead people than homeless people. 

Translation #2: If reanimated corpses are how the zombie takeover begins, I live in the bullseye. 

Wouldn’t the powers-that-shouldn’t-be just love to create yet another new scare? They literally convinced us to be afraid of hugging loved ones for 21 months. At least half the country still lives frightened of breathing the air itself? Why not something new like aliens — or zombies? Don’t think it hasn’t crossed their Machiavellian minds. Consider this, if you will: “There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.”

You can find that on the CDC website, explained as such: “Wonder why zombies, zombie apocalypse, and zombie preparedness continue to live or walk dead on a CDC website? As it turns out what first began as a tongue-in-cheek campaign to engage new audiences with preparedness messages has proven to be a very effective platform. We continue to reach and engage a wide variety of audiences on all hazards preparedness via ‘zombie preparedness.'”

Here’s an excerpt: 

There’s even a graphic novel:

When push comes to shove, I’d say the zombie apocalypse has already happened. Take a scroll through Facebook or Twitter. They’ve herded us into small groups in which it is no longer necessary to think critically. Our news feeds do that for us. I don’t care if you’re marching against mandates or lining up for booster #14. If you don’t frequently step away from your devices and recalibrate, the algorithm will eat your brains. They already are. You know… just like the zombies they want us to worry about. 

Mickey Z. is the creator of a podcast called Post-Woke. You can subscribe here. He is also the founder of Helping Homeless Women - NYC, offering direct relief to women on New York City streets. To help him grow this project, CLICK HERE and donate right now.

(The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of World News Trust.)